My day began shortly after my 3pm wakeup call from a friend who I normally don’t talk to all that much but was pleased to hear from. He invited me to have dinner with a classmate who I also don’t normally talk to, but also glad to hear from. Being someone who always enjoys random outings with random people I seized the opportunity. With the clock hitting close to four, I figured I might as well forgo any attempt at replenishing the chasm inside my abdomen, as I was certain that I’d be getting my fill later on. After all those years of starvation, when you go out for dinner in this country, they make sure everyone gets their fill. However, this would prove unwise.

I met up with my friends at the Jusco, where they instructed me that we would be going to a Korean restaurant not too far away. This was highly logical because my friend who was taking us out was Korean. After a brief walk, we made it to the restaurant street, which is an area in Qingdao highly populated with erotic cake stores….mmm erotic cakes… actually…wait, that’s a different street, this one has restaurants on it. We arrived at the anomalous Korean establishment, defiant against the perpetual clones of seafood joints flanking it. Inside, I was introduced to my classmate’s older brother, younger brother, sister and maid. Before you ask, I don’t know. As soon as I sat down, a large bottle filled with an ominous liquid was being liberally poured into everyone’s glass and I had the fortuity of a seat next to older bro, who was doing the pouring. I quickly learned two things. One; always have food in your stomach before going to a restaurant where you might be drinking. Two; it’s ok to not completely down your mini-glass of liquor in one shot. It took me about four consecutive rounds to learn the later. As soon as your bottom’s up, you refill and toast again, it’s an unending cycle.

My liver’s torment was vanquished by the efficiency of the waitresses, who brought us our dinner. Kimchi, pig’s blood rolls, bulgogi, you know, the usual Korean treats. In between my furious attempt at sheltering my stomach from what would soon be an assault of baijiu (a Chinese liquor that it is also used as jet fuel) courtesy of big bro, I happened to notice something curious about the waitresses. They were all wearing name tags with the North Korean flag emblazoned on them. Within seconds after I noticed this, an all girl band jumped out on stage and started blasting out what I assumed was Korean oldies. I quickly turned to my friend who spoke English, and I asked her for the low down. To my surprise and twisted delight, our waitresses and the band were all from North Korea! Now, there’s only two ways for them to be here in China. One would be escape from the land of the eternal president by crossing the most heavily fortified border on the planet. The other, and the way in which they were here, as my friend tried to explain, was that they came from the highest peerage of the North Korean aristocracy. Amazing. I was getting drunk while being entertained and fed by socialites from the axis of evil.

As the feast wore on, we were treated to traditional song and dance that was native to North Korea. For a few songs, one singer went all out, and big bro explained to me that this particular girl was one of the most popular singers in her homeland. After the performance was done, I had the opportunity to meet her and talk to her briefly, which blew my mind. Supposedly, every new years she sings for…Kim Jong-il the nuclear cowboy himself!

Ironically, though the girls were allowed out of their country, they weren’t allowed out of the restaurant. They also had to wear the funny ID tags, and a little pin just like George Bush wears, but instead of the American flag, it was Kim il-Sung’s face. I also noticed on all the TVs in the place, they were showing our goose-stepping buddies do their thing to patriotic background music. I could never unravel the riddle of why all of this was happening or what the occasion was, but it will be nice to scratch another item off my list.

I managed to take some shoddy pictures of the happening, but to make up for the poor quality I have shoddy videos too.

UPDATE: It appears I’m not the only one with a perverted interest in the Hermit Kingdom’s restaurants, so I hope it helps to mention that this restaurant is named “Pyongyang” (Pingrang in Chinese) and it’s located on Yunxiao Rd. between Mingjiang Rd. and Hong Kong Middle Rd. Not far from the Carrefour.

Also, I’ve managed to dig up some news on these places. Apparently many of the waitresses would rather be doing something else.

Filed under: things i ate