Comments on: Making Chinese Friends is Hard http://dragonhunting.com/2007/making-chinese-friends-is-hard/ Thu, 24 Nov 2011 09:51:28 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: Kevin http://dragonhunting.com/2007/making-chinese-friends-is-hard/#comment-6568 Kevin Fri, 07 May 2010 08:12:01 +0000 http://dragonhunting.com/?p=49#comment-6568 I was lucky enough (in Japan) to get a job working in a restaurant that had literally no customers. It was certainly not the most exciting job, but my coworkers had no choice but stay and listen to me stumble through whatever grammatical gem I read in my textbook on the bus to work that morning. "I... like... cake" is one I remember being especially surprised to have people react positively to. Keeping in mind that you are one of the lowest educated (in terms of communication) people in their lives, I think that you have to give up some freedoms to get the opportunity to use their language skills for your own betterment. I would not work in a place like that again in the US, but I now live in a small village in Japan. I readily join parties and events (including volunteer fire department which is a many year commitment for the entire summer) because there is no other way to really make acquaintances (and sometimes friends) who speak normally and give me a chance to learn the dialect. Sure I have to sit through hours of talk about what pachinko parlor has the best machines, and what prostitute service has the best women, but I also get to reap the benefits of them feeling that I am a part of their community. I was lucky enough (in Japan) to get a job working in a restaurant that had literally no customers. It was certainly not the most exciting job, but my coworkers had no choice but stay and listen to me stumble through whatever grammatical gem I read in my textbook on the bus to work that morning. “I… like… cake” is one I remember being especially surprised to have people react positively to.

Keeping in mind that you are one of the lowest educated (in terms of communication) people in their lives, I think that you have to give up some freedoms to get the opportunity to use their language skills for your own betterment. I would not work in a place like that again in the US, but I now live in a small village in Japan. I readily join parties and events (including volunteer fire department which is a many year commitment for the entire summer) because there is no other way to really make acquaintances (and sometimes friends) who speak normally and give me a chance to learn the dialect. Sure I have to sit through hours of talk about what pachinko parlor has the best machines, and what prostitute service has the best women, but I also get to reap the benefits of them feeling that I am a part of their community.

]]> By: james http://dragonhunting.com/2007/making-chinese-friends-is-hard/#comment-1349 james Tue, 25 Mar 2008 05:16:58 +0000 http://dragonhunting.com/?p=49#comment-1349 Thanks for your input coming from the otherside of the coin JFJC, although it sounds like you're making more headway than I am. Here's hoping we can make some real friends wherever we are in the world despite cultural differences. Thanks for your input coming from the otherside of the coin JFJC, although it sounds like you’re making more headway than I am. Here’s hoping we can make some real friends wherever we are in the world despite cultural differences.

]]> By: Ji Feng Jing Cao http://dragonhunting.com/2007/making-chinese-friends-is-hard/#comment-1346 Ji Feng Jing Cao Thu, 20 Mar 2008 08:03:11 +0000 http://dragonhunting.com/?p=49#comment-1346 Don't know if this'll make you feel better but most Chinese students I know studying in the US, Canada or the UK have exactly the same problems, for reasons you've stated above, although, from my personal experience, even if you've cracked the language barrier, you're still a long way away from cruising through the local social scene and picking up friends at will. Most conversations start from the obligatory "how long have you been here", "do you like it here" kind of questions and mostly just stop there. Although I humbly think I now speak excellent English, there just seems to be not enough overlapping life experiences to keep a good conversation going. But then again, I might be hanging out with the wrong crowd.(I'm talking about my housemates, who are all music geeks and at any given time when there's more than one of them in a room and there's talking taking place, it will be about music(mostly indie) or bands(preferrably those that have never been heard of by more than 10 people in the world, including the band members themselves). I used to think it was my problem when my "conversational English" wasn't up to a satisfactory standard. And then I thought maybe it was because I just wasn't as sociable as Western people. But now I know that was not the case 'cause I can actually make some friends with other foreign students and mind you, most of them think I'm a funny guy!(Trying to be funny in another language can be a very frustrating task. YOU know how funny you can be but all the other people can get is what you can express in that language.) I even thought perhaps I should start taking whatever drugs they're doing just to, you know, blend in but nah... you know they'd be laughing anyway... Alas! 今当入寝，临屏哈气，不知所云。 同是天涯沦落人，相逢何必曾相识。 Have a nice day! Don’t know if this’ll make you feel better but most Chinese students I know studying in the US, Canada or the UK have exactly the same problems, for reasons you’ve stated above, although, from my personal experience, even if you’ve cracked the language barrier, you’re still a long way away from cruising through the local social scene and picking up friends at will. Most conversations start from the obligatory “how long have you been here”, “do you like it here” kind of questions and mostly just stop there.

Although I humbly think I now speak excellent English, there just seems to be not enough overlapping life experiences to keep a good conversation going. But then again, I might be hanging out with the wrong crowd.(I’m talking about my housemates, who are all music geeks and at any given time when there’s more than one of them in a room and there’s talking taking place, it will be about music(mostly indie) or bands(preferrably those that have never been heard of by more than 10 people in the world, including the band members themselves).

I used to think it was my problem when my “conversational English” wasn’t up to a satisfactory standard. And then I thought maybe it was because I just wasn’t as sociable as Western people. But now I know that was not the case ’cause I can actually make some friends with other foreign students and mind you, most of them think I’m a funny guy!(Trying to be funny in another language can be a very frustrating task. YOU know how funny you can be but all the other people can get is what you can express in that language.)

I even thought perhaps I should start taking whatever drugs they’re doing just to, you know, blend in but nah… you know they’d be laughing anyway…

Alas! 今当入寝，临屏哈气，不知所云。

同是天涯沦落人，相逢何必曾相识。

Have a nice day!

]]> By: Ryan http://dragonhunting.com/2007/making-chinese-friends-is-hard/#comment-1345 Ryan Thu, 20 Mar 2008 04:20:46 +0000 http://dragonhunting.com/?p=49#comment-1345 Yup - that about sums it up. Great post, only wish it had a better outcome - but nothing you can do about that, eh? haha. The Japanese/Korean friends thing is a good suggestion, handy for practicing Chinese, and less likely to be fraught with cardboard conversation. Yup – that about sums it up. Great post, only wish it had a better outcome – but nothing you can do about that, eh? haha.

The Japanese/Korean friends thing is a good suggestion, handy for practicing Chinese, and less likely to be fraught with cardboard conversation.

]]> By: alvin http://dragonhunting.com/2007/making-chinese-friends-is-hard/#comment-939 alvin Wed, 19 Dec 2007 03:06:39 +0000 http://dragonhunting.com/?p=49#comment-939 my english is poor it is so hard for me to read ur passages one bye one read the rest next time make friends is not easy for everyone. i always feel lonely too. but i believe if u smile to others they will smile to u :) i study physical oceanography, so boring..... my english is poor
it is so hard for me to read ur passages one bye one
read the rest next time

make friends is not easy for everyone.
i always feel lonely too.
but i believe if u smile to others
they will smile to u :)
i study physical oceanography,
so boring…..

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