When I first came to China back in the day, I had the pleasure of flying domestically a few times. I was amazed at how quick and efficient the service was, and how the flights left exactly as the time on the ticket was printed. How foolish I was.

I would say that flying in china you probably have about a 60% chance of your flight being delayed. If there’s a hint of any meteorological phenomenon, your chances of flying on time are about as good as opening a gay bar in Iran called Mohomo’s. Normally though, the weather isn’t bad and instead they give patently bullshit reasons why the plane is static. I was bored at the airport on my most recent trip out of Shanghai, so I grabbed a shot of the sterile and meaningless excuse they give:

What the hell is flow control supposed to be? The septic system backed up or something? Too many planes flying? Then why did they schedule that many flights in the first place?!

Now, if they’re going to make up obvious lies, they might as well go the whole nine yards. So I’ve taken it upon myself to show the Chinese airlines how it should be done. Maybe, just maybe, if they added some comedy to this ridiculous and all too often scenario, people wouldn’t get into fist fights at the airports. After all, we all know how Chinese people love to wait around for things.

Filed under: dragons