• Everyone has satellite tv…in their car…that they watch while driving.

• I was expecting there to be American GI’s prowling the streets mercilessly trying to bag Korean girls, I only saw one guy in uniform ball and chain with a girl.

• Very few western people outside of Seoul. So if you leave that city, better make sure you know some Korean or know some Koreans, cause if you don’t you will be dragged off into the forest and eaten by cannibals.

• There are no homeless people. I’ve heard the unemployment rate is really low, but it’s amazing to walk around in Seoul a city of 20 million, and not see ANY homeless people. It’s great. Seriously Toronto should learn something, as in, homeless people don’t need to be downtown harassing everyone else, there’s lots of room in the arctic, and I heard the USA is always looking to test new thermonuclear devices…i jest, i jest!

• Korean people are generally indifferent to westerners, much like how I find the people in Japan. Many don’t know or are unwilling to use their English, also much like Japan. Which leads me to the inevitable thought on China and why is it the only place in Asia I’ve been to, where people come up to you on the street to practice their English, scream “HALLOOO” after you’re a block away from them and try and sell you shit.

• The only reason to go to Itaewon is a really good Mexican restaurant on the main side street once you get to the top of the hill. Other than that, it’s about a quarter mile of fake watches, touts and cheap t-shirts. Can someone honestly explain to me, what tourist travels to an exotic foreign society on the other side of the planet, and then feels the overwhelming need to purchase a NYPD t-shirt? I would like to meet them, because I’m sure their minds would unlock the mysteries of the universe.

• Soju, what an awesome drink. Tastes like diet vodka, at 20%. Can’t go wrong at $3 a bottle either. Funny logic once again rears its funny head with this stuff. You can buy it in convenience and grocery stores, and you can get it in Korean style bars, but you absolutely cannot get it in western bars or Korean dance clubs. The unwritten rule is that when you’re buying it in the Korean bars you have to order a side dish with it, to presumably make up for the fact that there’s little to no markup on the bottle. So why not just charge MORE money for the frickin bottle and have it in more places than the Korean bars?

• Another interesting facet of the Korean nightlife scene are the dance clubs. These cavernous meccas of deafening techno music are similar to their Chinese brethren. One feature they had, that was new to me, was the speed dating that goes on. You sit at a table (you’re usually expected to order a bottle of liquor, or a set of beers), and the waiters will actually bring girls to you in sequence. As a guy, you just sit there and there’s an endless procession of women that come to you. You offer them drinks, some take, some don’t. I think this whole part of the trip would have been much more interesting if my Korean vocabulary extended beyond “Hello” and “you son of a bitch”.

• Seoul has all the historical cultural sights, so it’s good to check out. I was surprised that during the winter, everything is free or really cheap. I paid about $6 total to see most of the major sights. I was also reduced to a shivering, frozen, lump of flesh by the end of it all.

• If you’re going to go, I’d say stay in Incheon and commute into Seoul, because Incheon is so much cheaper, has the awesome Bupyeong, and feels more Korean. Seoul has most of the sight seeing places, but it’s also spread out, so chances are no matter where you stay, you’re gonna be on a 30 minute subway ride somewhere.

• I can say that I enjoy almost all Korean food with the exception of those square pieces of processed fish that seem to go with a lot of the street food. Everything else is spiced up, sautéed and barbequed. All of it very healthy. Why can’t I get mandoo in Qingdao?

And of course what would this rather aimless post be without some aimless pictures to follow it?

Wolmido fair grounds in Incheon.

Wiener dog art.

Seoul Institute for Energy Conservation Ice Rink.

Where’s the host hiding?

This is the Bluehouse, the Korean equivalent to the Whitehouse.

I was having a video call with my friend while both of us were on the subway. The same subway.

Filed under: tourist shit