A week ago, my friend and I decided that we’d had enough of the perpetual routine of visiting the same three bars in Qingdao. In order to break the cycle we decided suddenly Saturday afternoon to head to the train station and jump on the next train to Weifang. Why Weifang? It was close, only 2 hours away on the slow train and it was big with a population of 8 million people. There were no westerners there or so we heard, so it would be different from the norm in Qingdao.

Note to self: do not go to Sifang Station expecting to get same day train tickets. On arrival the lines were lengthy, stretching out of the ticket area. My friend and I both split into different lines to hedge our bets. My line was moving along quickly, a little too quickly. People were organized and straight, a little too organized and straight. A few people were cutting in line, a little too few people. And just then as I had almost reached the window, the ticket bitch decides to stop working, leaving the 50 or so people left in my line stranded to join the 200 people waiting in the other two lines. After about another hour of waiting, and watching tons of people cut in line, my friend and I secured tickets to Weifang for about an hour later. When we finally got on the train, we got to our seats only to find them occupied by an army guy and his girlfriend, luckily a train conductor was coming through saw our situation, and instead of saying anything to the army guy, he kicked two other random guys out of the seats right next, so that we could sit there. Turns out they were scamming too.

We arrived at Weifang well after dark, and we were too tired to wander around in the dark to find a decent place to eat, so we settled on the restaurant in the hotel. Turns out the place was original enough to have its own brewpub which is a rare thing in China, yet alone in the middle of nowhere Shandong province. Entertainment in this city consists entirely of KTV bars and outdoor eateries, not unlike any other city on the Mainland. Luckily for those of you who like to party like Amy Winehouse, but can’t sing like her, there’s a few other venues to check out. The first place we went to was Boys and Girls, definitely a Chinese bar, but still better than KTV. To enjoy yourself at one of these types of bars, you really have to get the bottle service and go with a bunch of friends. It wasn’t particularly expensive, think about $50-70 a bottle. The music ranges from bearable to stick a Ginsu knife in my ear to make it stop. The bar had two main rooms, one had a large circular stage where they were doing games ang give aways. Most people were in this room, and I’d say it was a ratio of about 15 guys to one girl. There was also a group of guys that started hitting on us which was our cue to get the hell out of dodge. We moved on to the second room where there was a bar in the middle that bar tenders were dancing on a la Coyote Ugly. The ugly part was there were some transvestites who got up on the stage to do whatever the hell it was they were trying to do. Not particularly interested in guys dressed in short shorts, tank tops and eye make ups flailing their limbs about wildly to 90’s dance music, we decided to move along. Angel Kiss bar was our other destination and despite its cheesy name, it’s the most western bar in the city. They were playing decent hip hop when we were there, but as it was MP3 styles, and we were the only real customers in the joint, so you could probably get them to throw on whatever blows your hair back. Drink prices were reasonable and they served proper drinks and not just bottles, my final analysis gives em 4 out of 5 bottles of Qingdao beer.

The next day we decided to peruse the city. We saw only one kite in flight, and I swear the guy was being paid to do it, just so that the city wouldn’t look stupid being the kite capital of China without any in the air. The city is very flat and in grid formation, so lots of scooters and bikes, not so many cars, but they did drive in a more hap hazard fashion then the bastion of civility that is Qingdao. Lots of kite shops if that’s your thing. Despite the kites and whatever else Weifang is well known for, there was one distinguishing feature I will remember it for. My friend and I were walking down the avenues, when I spotted this interesting little shop:

An entire shop devoted to nothing but TP! Great. I just had to take a snapshot while the proprietors thought I must have had some kind of mental disorder or disgusting fetish. That shop alone pretty much made my day. We kept walking, and what did we come across? Not one, not two, not ten, but a whole damn block of toilet paper stores! It was like a middle school janitor’s fantasyland. WTF was going on here? My immediate impression was to question the quality of the food I had eaten in Weifang and suspect my stomach would soon be under duress. Why else would you need an entire district devoted to the sale of stuff to wipe your bum with? Stores in China tend to cluster together with each other, but usually they sell more than countless identical rolls of TP. How does one decide which store to shop at for toilet paper? Roll dice? Don’t answer that. We soldiered on and soon the day was done, my sphincter had not ruptured and thankfully we were on the rocket train back to Qingdao, so if anything were to happen, I would soon be in the safe confines of my apartment with only my roommate to hear the pain. We made it back without incident and no problems from the food. I give Weifang a recommend rating for two types of people: one, for those who like to fly kites, and two, for those who like to fly toilet paper over their neighbor’s yard on devil’s night.

Instead of writing a guide, Kevin has already done a much better job over at his blog, so if you want to slide by Weifang, be sure to look at it for where to go and what to do.

Filed under: tourist shit