A part of my excursion to the nation’s capital during the Labour Day weekend was a little side trip to the recently refurbished Qianmen Street. Qianmen means front gate, cause the street runs right in front of the front gate to a certain infamous square and the Forbidden City.

Naturally I picked a day of the unholy trinity of Chinese holidays to visit. Instead of something that should have taken no more than an hour, I spent several wading through the unwashed masses as they enjoyed their holiday being yelled at through bullhorns, remembering which red hat wearing group was theirs, and admiring the 4.3 million sq. feet of soulless granite that makes up the TAM square.

It’s a long pedestrian walking street with two fake electric trams running along it. How exactly are the electric trams fake you ask? Well they’ve got the junk on the roof to hook up to an electrical wire, not unlike what you’d see on the streetcars in Toronto. In this instance however, there are no electrical wires running along the street. So this leads me to the conclusion that either the Chinese engineers have mastered the art of making things turn invisible, OR the trams are powered by nothing but the self-fulfillment of those engineers.

The architecture along the street is starts off in the nouveau Qing Dynasty style popular in Chinatowns the world over, and oddly it fades as you head down the street into this dark boxy modern stuff that I haven’t made up my mind about. It’s as though whoever was building it started off all traditional, with lots of details, then started to run out of time and money, so they decided to throw a bunch of rectangular shapes together and hope for the best. I don’t think it looks horrible, but the context is messed up. Just like using the font from the title of “Their Will Be Blood” for the invitations to a baby shower.

I read somewhere that this street was supposed to be open in time for the Olympics last year, or that it was open in time for the Olympics. Either way, if by open they mean the buildings are finished and devoid of life, then I guess it’s certainly open. The only buildings that had tenants were a large H&M store and a China Post office. While walking down it, I saw a side street that signs of commercial activity in the form of trinket shops, but it was also full of people, and narrow, so I dared not venture into that heart of darkness.

Qianmen Jie could be awesome. Instead of putting in banal corporate retail and chain stores, they should fill the street with nothing but bars and discos, and the odd strip club or massage parlour for good measure. It’s got a central location, but it isn’t near any residential, so noisy drunks aren’t an issue. There’s an adjacent subway station, and huge avenues filled with taxis and busses to transport the winos to and fro. Plus the Great Hall of the People (aka China’s parliament) is only a stone’s throw away, so the customers are already there!

Qianmen Street Yea or Nay?

If you’re in the area because you’re checking out the square, the Forbidden City, or Mao’s waxy corpse, then it might be worth a gander once it actually has stores. If you’ve already been to Beijing and seen all that stuff, then it give it a pass, in the same way that you’d pass on competing in a log cutting competition that used logs of poop instead of lumber.

Filed under: tourist shit