Andorra exists in an odd stratum of countries called microstates. These nations have avoided getting absorbed by larger states throughout history by arming themselves with extravagant casinos and various tourist traps. Invading armies would fall into a vicious cycle of gambling degeneracy and taking their kids to petting zoos, only to fall to the point where they were forced to take up jobs cleaning llama shit to pay off their gambling debts. Not only do these places still exist, they stick it to the larger states by having liberal tax regimes and foiling geography majors. One of my travel goals is to eventually hit up all of the European microstates, so this time around I was satisfied to eliminate the little principality snuggled between France and Spain’s ass chaps.

Reduce

Not really much to reduce here seeing as the entire country has a mere 84,000 people and an area of 468 sq. kilometers.

Reuse

Andorra is downhill mountain biking mecca. Sure there’s only two main resorts (Vallnord and Grandvalira) but that’s like a chocolate chip cookie bitching about having only sweet chocolatey chips nestled inside its warm freshly baked dough. For any serious mountain biker, riding here is a rite of passage. If you ask me, more ski resorts should utilise their lifts during the summer, and more bikers should use those lifts. They’re definitely on the ball with this in Andorra.

I could definitely get used to the 0% tax rate. What do taxes pay for anyway? Andorra has everything I need or want without the government sticking it’s grubby meat hooks into my dusty pockets.

It would be nice to see the whole global system of nation states revert to the city-states of centuries past. It would give you much more options if you’re fed up with the ideological or political regime, you could just hop in your motorized carriage and be on your way to a whole new country in less than an hour. In this day and age that I can have 400 different kinds of toothpaste, why can’t I have 400 different countries per continent to choose from as well?

Recycle

Thanks in part to its tax haven status; the Andorra de la Villa’s downtown is essentially a giant duty free shop. It would be good times if they diversified past the perfume, liquor, and nameless electronics stores and added on an extra dimension with fine establishments such as cape boutiques, African long horned beetle emporiums and banjo dispensaries.

Incinerate

Your nuts. If you bail at Vallnord’s Project 1.0.

Filed under: tourist shit