As I mentioned on day five, there was something of a heat wave going on in the Kanto region. Sure enough, we would feel the force of Mother Nature’s bosom as she crushed us with all 37 degrees of it day six. But what would the high temperatures be without tempting the gods of heatstroke by renting bikes and pedaling around all day?

Feeling like a sack of potatoes about to be turned to hash browns, I made it clear to my comrade that we had to stick to the river paths near the water where it would be cooler, or face our doom. Kyoto has a river that runs from the north of the city down through its heart, and right out of its bearded anus, although we never went down that far. Instead we chilled along the river as many other Kyotoites were doing. Once the mid-day heat was past, we ventured into Gion, where the geishas hang out drinking 40s on the stoops and play dice in the alleys. We didn’t see any, probably because if they were to expose themselves to the heat, all their makeup would melt off exposing themselves as the horribly deformed mutants they are.

After Gion, we checked out the Kennin-ji Zen temple, it was neat but mostly under renovation. There was a whole lot of shoe changing and ill-fitting slipper wearing going on. We also took part in an anti-nuclear protest that was organized by the hideously deformed mutant geishas the Japanese Communist Party. Made my comrade and I feel like we were back home – except back home the Communist party doesn’t need to protest, they do whatever the hell they want. Finally we capped off the day by a trip to the imperial palace, located in a huge park. It reminded me of the Forbidden City in Beijing, but on the contrary, it was actually forbidden to go inside, unlike the Forbidden City, where anyone can go in. The palace itself is closed on weekends, so instead we hung with the hobos. After a short period of time, a squadron of mosquitoes had declared war on our sweet flesh, so we retreated to the north to our homely domicile.

Filed under: dragons