Having some time to kill on a random weekend, I thought I’d see this pumped up beefcake and if it could point me in the direction of the beach.

Taking advice from some other people who clearly know better than me, I visited on a Sunday afternoon, which is supposedly the least crazy time. Indeed, buying tickets was fast and straightforward, and the line through the security theatre moved at brisk pace not unlike a Chinese airport. What was crazy however, was the guy we spotted not long after arriving, who was contemplating jumping off one of the pavilions.

We got bored of watching the drama (or lack thereof) and since time was of the essence we checked out a few pavilions.

All of the pavilions fall into one of three formulas:

1) A giant gift shop selling things that may or may not be related to the pavilion’s country.

2) A several hour wait, followed by 15 minutes of videos about the pavilion’s country’s environment/culture/future/relationship with China projected in an artsy way (ie. on the walls, floors, inflatable animals hanging from the ceiling, giant and horrifying animatronic babies)

3) Megapavilions containing dozens of minipavilions with minilines forming to get coveted novelty passport stamps.

Even the best of the pavilions only rivaled a good art gallery. They would get bitch slapped good and proper by any quality museum. I should mention that almost any big pavilion required a multi-hour wait to get into. We had the connections however, so there were no lines for us. Being a smug bastard, I couldn’t help but wonder who wants to wait in line for hours just to see a weak art show? Then it dawned upon me as I walked by them. Millions of Chinese people, that’s who. So the architecture was neat, and I suppose that was worth seeing in person, but at the end of the day none of the designs are practical for anything but showing off. So again another question was boggling my noodle, is this all just a global penis jousting match?

Other than the dude who was going to try and swan dive into the pavement, there was two things the expo had going for it. The first was all the different shapes and textures that you could catch as part of the pavilions. The second infinite masses of provincials that inundated the place. I’ll talk about them later, for now, pretty pictures:

MAO’s in the fuckin house!!!

I bet you’re calling up your travel agent right this damn minute.

I think my brain was zapped by aliens on the way back, and I really don’t have much more to say about the place than other than that, so instead I’ll show you what it looks like with some pictures. Moo.

*hint: it rhymes with “nada”

And I really miss the clouds. Not to say there isn’t beautiful clouds in China. I’m sure there are. I’m also sure that place isn’t Qingdao. Here the sky comes in three varieties: blue, smog, and overcast. The last two being pretty much the same thing. So while I was in Canada, I tried to take as many pictures of the sky as I could. This post is the culmination of that effort.

Good news is that once the swamp-ass summer is over, the weather here dries up quick and remains so until spring. Maybe the smog will clear enough that we’ll get some cirrus, stratus or altocumulus undulatus up in this bitch. And maybe I’ll grow a tail….which come to think of it…

I just got back from Korea. I’m not sure which has paralyzed the city more, the half inch of snow on the ground or the mad rush of the holidays.

Last night a fierce competition erupted in the sky of rivaling fireworks. I believe all 7 million residents of Qingdao participated. What better way to ring in the new year than by having that ringing sound made permanent? I’ll give China credit, they do fireworks better than anyone else. If you have an apartment with even a half decent view, you’re in for a hell of a show. It really picks up at dusk and goes till…well I don’t know I went to bed at 2am and there were still explosions happening somewhere.

Year of the rodent? Not for this guy. Maybe he was knocked unconscious by a M-1000.

Update: I don’t know what I was drinking, cause that first set of pics sucked a mean pair of balls, here’s some better ones to make up for it:

This is the Taidong area, and it smells.

The Koreans run this part, but I just moved in, so really it’s ran.

Remnants from the Mao days.

View to the west down Xiang Gang Zhong Lu.

View towards the place where they’re going to try and do some Olympic sailing. Take note of the group of buildings in the middle. 10 condos, all empty. I can’t imagine how much it must suck to be that building developer.

Northwestern view into the chaos.

Downtown Financial district.

When the air is clean, you can see the mountains, and yes today is as clean as she gets.

Density everywhere.

Across the bay to Huangdao harbor.

more to come…