Dragon Hunting » 加拿大

Is that an Altocumulus Castellanus or a Cirrus Kelvin-Hemholtz Colombia?

james — Thu, 04 Sep 2008 10:59:45 +0000

Back here in China I miss a lot of things. I miss being able to go mountain biking without necessitating the use of a machete and dynamite. I miss being able to eat real hamburgers and not having to deal with the soilent green squeezed out of tubes at McDucks. I miss having my laundry come out of the dryer feeling nice and soft and not all crunchy and stretched weird as if it had been washed with ooze before being worn by the elephant man. I miss mattresses that aren’t measured for softness with the same scale used for precious gemstones.

And I really miss the clouds. Not to say there isn’t beautiful clouds in China. I’m sure there are. I’m also sure that place isn’t Qingdao. Here the sky comes in three varieties: blue, smog, and overcast. The last two being pretty much the same thing. So while I was in Canada, I tried to take as many pictures of the sky as I could. This post is the culmination of that effort.

Good news is that once the swamp-ass summer is over, the weather here dries up quick and remains so until spring. Maybe the smog will clear enough that we’ll get some cirrus, stratus or altocumulus undulatus up in this bitch. And maybe I’ll grow a tail….which come to think of it…

RE: Entry

james — Thu, 04 Oct 2007 04:40:10 +0000

After a quick flight from Beijing to YYZ I’m back in Canada for the first time in 8 months. It feels like even less. A few notes on this little trip so far.

If you’re flying from Toronto to Beijing, make sure to get on the direct flight. The airplanes are the most modern in the fleet and every seat has its own standard electric plug and TV. Compare that to flying with a connection through Vancouver where you’ll be on jets that feel like Russian hand me downs. Before you get to the Beijing airport, stock up on all necessary goods. Once inside the giant liquor and cigarette warehouse that is PEK, you won’t be able to find any decent food, reading material or batteries, which I learned the hard way. You will be able to find lots of overpriced but duty free booze, and 4 stores selling the exact same Olympic merchandise adorned with the rainbow gremlins.

I noticed all the usual things once back in Canada, for example the streets are quiet, the air is so clean, everyone is obese, etc. There’s also some other things that I noticed that probably aren’t as normal. The service here blows. In China I do find it mildly irritating having a chorus of “欢饮光临” everywhere I go, but I never realized not having it and being totally ignored would be so much more annoying. There’s no hustle. People cross the streets whether or not they have the right of way as if they were immortal beings and time didn’t exist. Back in the PRC, they scurry across like little squirrels trying to avoid the onslaught of poorly built and poorly driven vehicles. Finally an obvious one: everything here is absurdly expensive. $2.75 to take the bus, are you kidding me? I can take the bus twenty freakin times for that price. Tonight I just had dinner for $30 and it wasn’t even that great. For that price I could have dinner for two at the fanciest restaurant in town OR I could eat so much street food that I’d need to see a proctologist.

It’s nice to see everyone again, which is the principal reason I came back. It’s good that I’m only around till next Friday though, cause with my world class whining, I’m sure they’re already counting down the days. Finally I’d like to announce to the world my discovery that jet lag is a bitch. I’m sure the scientists of the world have been waiting for such a breakthrough announcement. No matter how many sleeping pills you pop, no matter how soft your bed is, you’re still sure to screwed by random intervals of exhaustion and waking up in the night from sweet sweet dreams of cars honking and people horking.

Thanks to Mark for the turkey.

Flight from YYZ to YVR

james — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 08:44:50 +0000

It has begun. This will be my last post from Canadian soil. Trying to sleep last night was a mission in itself. For some impromptu reason a noise manifested itself from within the walls of my room right by the head of my bed, and my head. It was like there was a team of lego men hiding in the wall doing heavy construction. I ended up moving to the couch where I actually got some sleep (5hours) before getting up at five thirty.

After getting to the airport about 2 hours early, the weirdness began. It started with my own idiocy. My dad dropped me off at the very front of Terminal 1 at Pearson. This is the new terminal and it is the size of Donald Trump’s ego…times ten. I’m carrying about 400 pounds of gear so moving anywhere isn’t going to be pleasurable. I get in and notice the gates go from A to Z. Departures to asia are at Z. I’m at A. I manage to navigate my way through the mindless hordes of senile seniors on their way to Florida and get to the gates that go to Beijing. As I get to the lineup for boarding passes, the helper monkey lady asks me where I’m going, to which I reply PKK. She then asks if I’m flying direct, or through Vancouver. I inform her I’m going through Vancouver, to which she tells me that I should be at Gate A. Great, I got my chance to battle through the masses of pastel polyester and golfclub bags once again. But the fun doesn’t stop there…oh no…

I got my boarding passes from the automated machine that Air Canada makes you do now, in some kind of futile attempt at speeding the whole process up. They fail miserably. So I’m waiting in the motionless line and I notice a putrid scent coming from the guy infront of me. Now as some of you may know, I’m no stranger to smells, but this guy smelled like he had just taken a golden shower, minus the shower. Turns out it wasn’t the guy infront of me. A few people farther ahead had brought one of those styrofoam coolers you buy at the beer store and filled it with raw fish. They were hoping to check this in as baggage along with everyone elses stuff. Keeping it closed was two thin straps of tape. This was a classic WTF moment. As in, what the fuck were they thinking? Who brings raw fish along for the airplane ride? I’m sure you can guess where they were going too. Luckily another security/helper monkey lady came along and denied them baggage check before they got to the counter, which is swell because I had no interest in having every piece of clothing I own reek of rotten snapper.

When I finally got to the check in, I had to go through a big deal because when they checked my visa, they noticed that it was valid for 60 days but my return ticket wasn’t until December. They decided to let me go because it’s up to the Chinese to make the final say. So I’m in Vancouver now and I’ve got something great to think about till I get to Beijing…