Dragon Hunting » food

Italian Stereotypes TRUE or FALSE (or a little bit of both)

james — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 06:12:29 +0000

I recently got back from Italy for work purposes. Not much touring was done, but several stereotypes were done away with.

Stereotype:	Italians eat pasta everyday.
Veracity:	TRUE mostly
Observations:	Italians do eat pasta everyday, sometimes twice a day depending on the phase of the moon and the direction of the wind. Unless it’s risotto. And comparing these foods to the strand shaped sludge of the same name in China is like peeing into a hurricane.

Stereotype:	The roads are just like spaghetti, with nothing but Lamborghinis, Ferraris and Maseratis whipping around at 300KM/h.
Veracity:	FALSE mostly
Observations:	I only saw one Maserati, and it was stationary. Italians do however have an affinity for hatchbacks and station wagons. They make these things go much faster than your 70s era woody wagon, and take diesel turbocharging to the theoretical limit. 200+ on long stretches of highway was common.

Stereotype:	There is an amazing coffee culture, exemplified by Starbucks.
Veracity:	FALSE, but the coffee is still GOOD
Observations:	Starbucks is NOTHING like Italian coffee. The fact that the place is somehow based on Italian coffee culture is akin to Nazism being based on the Carebears. Italian coffee IS espresso, but no one calls it that, they just call it coffee. People don’t lounge around and sip on it, they cruise into a coffee bar, order it, talk about last night’s soccer match, take it back in one shot and they’re out, cruising around in their turbo diesel wagon through the countryside at 200.

Stereotype:	Pizza was invented in Italy.
Veracity:	WHO THE FUCK KNOWS?
Observations:	While many sources indicate to modern pizza being developed in NYC by Italian immigrants, the Pizza in Italy may as well be the same thing, in fact, you could even say that Italian Pizza exists of some kind of 4th dimensional plane where it is actually NYC pizza and NYC pizza is actually Italian pizza. An infinite number of super fresh ingredients are always available, and versions from ultra thin crust to pizza pie are easily acquired at prices that make me sad that the only thing available in QD is made by people who wouldn’t know what pizza was if they made sweet love to it in the back of a Ford Taurus. Wagon.

Stereotype:	Italian people are fashionable.
Veracity:	TRUE
Observations:	Indeed. No sequins, rhinestones, acid wash or flowers embroidered into the jeans here. No dresses that look like garbage bags either. I once remember reading a Japanese (of course) fashion magazine that ONLY featured trendy middle-aged pimps from Italy. It was exactly like that everywhere you went. I guess I shoulda brought more than just grey track suits, nickelback t-shirts and purple crocs eh!?!

Stereotype:	Italian people often say: “mamma mia!” “va fan culo!” and “thatsa spicy meataball!”
Veracity:	TRUE mostly
Observations:	Italian people really do say these things, quite often. With the exception of the last one. I made that part up.

Stereotype:	Everyone cruises pounding their heads back and forth listening to euro –dance tunes like it’s 1991.
Veracity:	FALSE
Observations:	I secretly wanted to be whisked away to some land that was the basis for Night at the Roxbury, if nothing just so that I could actually see the douchebaggery oozing at it’s very pores. Yet there’s none of that. Mostly people drinking…gasp…draft beers! And playing foosball…lots and lots of foosball.

Stereotype:	All Italian girls are smoking hot and straight out of Vogue and Vanity Fair advertisements.
Veracity:	FALSE mostly
Observations:	There are definitely some attractive girls, but no more or no less than anywhere else in the world. Every single one of them has a boyfriend though. That is confirmed. ☹

Stereotype:	Italian is just like French.
Veracity:	FALSE, but reading TRUE, and CHINESE not SO MUCH
Observations:	Italian is just like Italian. Being fluent in French, I tried adding on O and I to the end of French words hoping for the best, but receiving looks as if I was speaking Chinese, which I ended up doing anyways out of frustration. Ironically I could read most things without difficulty, with the exception of the most important item you need to read in that country…menus.

Stereotype:	Most Italian men are plumbers, and spend the working day jumping on turtles, eating mushrooms, and saving princesses.
Veracity:	THE POPE SAID IT HIMSELF
Observations:	They also all wear overalls, and can increase their productivity 10 fold if they jump to the top right corner of the screen in level 1-2 and get to the warp zone.

Super Guide to Western Food in Qingdao

james — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 11:45:31 +0000

[updated 04/17/09]

I’m writing this for people living in Qingdao, people visiting Qingdao, and most importantly myself because I can never figure out what I want to eat. Chinese food is good. There’s no question there. The problem is that eating out is a group thing. The best restaurants are made for 4+ people. You know, the big round tables with the lazy susannes spinning, zhongnanhai’s gettin up in ya lungs and white liquor going straight to the cerebral cortex. Sure you can still go to these places by yourself or with a friend, but the dishes are all big mofos and you can’t get a whole lot of styles in your order unless you plan on wasting a load of food. So I’ve put together this list of western food joints that Qingdao has. It is divided into two parts. Places that suck balls and places that don’t. My list will feature ISO9000 approved point form rational to make your selection fast and efficient. And yeah I know there’s the redstar and Qingdao guide websites that will show you where they are, but they don’t list some, and they sure as shit don’t tell you if the ones listed are any good.

Places that suck the kahck

Sumo Sushi

Absurdly expensive sushi, think 25 kuai for one piece the size of a baby’s toe.
Serious case of the mei-you’s*
Service is probably the worst I’ve ever experienced in Qingdao, took close to an hour to get our appetizer despite seeing other people who came in after us get theirs much earlier. We had to sit at the bar because other tables were supposedly reserved; yet no one sat at the tables over the 2-hour course of our meal. Waitresses didn’t understand CHINESE. This is because it’s 100% Japanese owned and operated, and even the waitresses are Japanese. BUT this is CHINA retards. If I were Chinese I would come back to this place with a canteen of gas.
In fact if you go to this place and give them your hard earned loot, you might as well just pay someone to urinate in your mouth while you sleep. It’s the same.
Also the food sucked.

Murano

Unless there’s another place that serves ‘53 Margaux like it’s going out of style this is the most expensive restaurant in Qingdao.
Pasta tastes about as good as I could make it, which means…bleah
Service is about on par with any other western place, and considering the price of everything plus the service charge, they should be giving you the soufflé special in the back room for what you end up paying.

Bamboo

The only so-called thai restaurant in town.
Food is expensive considering what it is. (30-40 kuai a dish)
All the dishes taste really bland and not spicy, which is pretty much the exact opposite of real thai food.
Service is anemic.

Napoli

Advertises as a wine bar/italian restaurant but inside there is no bar whatsoever
Pastas start at 80 kuai and taste no better than Chef Boyardi’s bastard child
I’ve heard from a former employee they reuse food. Nuff said.

Sunshine Grill

Lots of expensive steaks that can be had elsewhere for less.
Horribly nasty all you can eat lunch buffet for 100 or is it 120 kuai?
Pretty much everything else on their menu looks like it’s dying from the bubonic plague.

TJ’s Mexican Food

This place is to Mexican food as a drunken midget is to porn.
Prices are reasonable, if you like eating chili powder with a small side of food.
The Nachos are the only redeeming thing on the menu, otherwise, everything else tastes exactly the same.
Seriously…to the owner of this place…if you want to see how a Mexican restaurant is done, go to Cantina Agave in Shanghai. Case closed.

Sorrento’s Pizza/JJ’s Pizza/Farmer’s Pizza

These Korean run pizza places don’t really suck so bad, but the pizza is pretty bad compared to proper North American pizza.
They all use whack ingredients, and shit quality cheese.
JJ’s uses excessively sweet tomato sauce.
Farmer’s uses almost no sauce.
But they all deliver so that’s all they’re good for.

Vietnamese Restaurant in Hisense Shopping Mall (In the basement level)

Unreasonably expensive for Vietnamese food, but I guess they have to pay the stupid rent to be in the Hisense mall somehow.
Considering the price, you would think they could have decent sized portions, but no, the pho bowls were all sized for toddlers. Come on man, it’s just noodles!
The spring rolls were pretty tasty.
Most of the menu is just Chinese food, or Vietnamese dishes that have been sinofied.
You have to ask for hot sauce and oyster sauce…umm hello?
Try it once if you must, but Yueyuxuan in HKGardens has better tasting pho, and is like a third the price.

Places that DON’T SUCK (In order of awesomeness with the slackers at the bottom)

Trattoria Verde

Best Italian food in Qingdao hands down.
The place is small and is always packed so make a reservation or you won’t get in.
The kitchen is open at the back so you can see the work of the Japanese chef on the go, he’s super friendly and takes care of his customers.
Prices were once reasonable (Cheaper than Napoli and Murano), but have now inflated to borderline unacceptable levels. Think about a 63% increase in some dishes, that’s even higher than the crazy 10% national inflation rate.
The most of the specials here are seafood dishes, although you can get steaks and the standard but still delicious pasta plates.
Ironic that the best Italian food in Qingdao is being cooked by a Japanese chef, while the restaurants with supposed Italian chefs are mostly garbaggio.
Phone number: (+86 532) 8589-8530
Address: 100 Shanghang Lu

Cassini’s

Runner up to best Italian food.
Recently I’ve been enjoying this place more and more, prices are stable, unlike other establishments, and they’ve got the real deal gelato going on.
Atmosphere upstairs is Modern, and more spacious than than Tratoria.
Lots of options, from pizza and sandwiches to full mains. Everything I’ve tried has been tasty.
Although the owners/chefs seem alright, the waitstaff could be better. Right now I would say it’s just average for China, and if you know, that ain’t great. If it were to improve I think Cassini’s could take the #1 spot.

The Greenery Cafe

This Guangzhou based chain has a clean and modern interior.
Similar to Chalon, with lots of western based dishes. Prices are better though. And the food quality seems a bit better too.
Lunches are a good deal with a healthy sized main dish and dessert for 18-25rmb
They charge a 2rmb seating fee per person, which although insignificant, would become a serious pain in the ass if its occurrence propagated among middle market restaurants here.
Located in the mess of a building on the other-side of the street facing Crown Plaza, on the second floor.

Story Desserts

Interestingly decorated place that focuses on desserts, coffee and vino.
Desserts are the best I’ve had in Qingdao
Owner/Managers actually care and listen to their clientele.
Open long hours from 11am-11pm so it’s good when that sweet

tooth needs a fix late in the evening.

Located in the old location of Banana bar right next to Amy’s Bakery, on the little street that runs behind Feelings Nightclub.

Chi Nuan Lian Izakaya

Best Japanese Izakaya in Qingdao.
Open till 1 or 2am usually.
Not cheap, but not too expensive depending on what you get.
Super special udon and soba recipes that the Japanese chef stole from a samurai ninja warrior right before he chopped off his head with a ginsu sushi knife.
Like two doors over from LeBang, wooden exterior, and you’ll know you’re there when a life size ULTRAMAN greets you at the door.
19 Chenghai Yi Lu. Phone 8593 5719.

Fatema Indian

Very tasty Indian food.
Good variety of dishes.
But ssssssssssssslllllllllloooooooow.
Also a little on the pricier side. (250 kuai for 2 people). But they were up till recently the only Indian place in Qingdao thus they had monopoly control and very well could have been feeding us PEOPLE dressed up as Indian food.

Barocook

Very cheap Korean fast food.
I enjoy the chicken burgers or toasted sandwiches for 7-9rmb, also massive chicken cutlet for only 25rmb.
Open late on weekends.

LeBang

Two for one pizzas on Sundays is good, but I’ve since eaten one too many.
Sandwiches are also good.
Prices are reasonable but have been slowly creeping upwards just like everywhere else.
The bar has a good selection of Pernod and Vodka, and that’s all me needs.

Pyongyang

A NORTH KOREAN restaurant.
Real live North Koreans serve you food. But don’t trip over the chains attached to their legs.
Pretty much tastes like any other Korean food place, but with a novelty factor to the power of 63.
See my previous post on it here.

Yueyuxuan (越饫轩)

Good Vietnamese food in Qingdao.
The only Vietnamese food in Qingdao.
Pretty cheap considering its “exoticness”.
It’s on Zhangzhou Er Lu (66 hao) in HK garden very close to Baskin Robbins.

Celena’s Chocolate Bar

Cafe/dessert place located in the Aushotel at Yan’an Rd. and Hong Kong West Rd.
Very clean and modern design. What this actually translates into is chairs that feel like they’re going to launch into space.
Prices are expensive and portions are small, so basically you’re just paying to be on the set of 2001 Space Odyssey.
Japanese fashion magazines brought back memories of Doll’s Kitchen…unfortunately they didn’t have Egg.
The food itself? The chocolate is all top notch quality. The waffles were a bit on the sweet side for my tastes, not to mention doused in chocolate sauce, but if you like sweet things, you can’t go wrong here.

Monnemer Eck

German/Bavarian what have you, I don’t know?
Has lots of sausages and potatoes.
Good German beer on tap that’s a nice switch from Tsingtao.
Prices are good, maybe 50 kuai/person.
German people are friendly when they’re drunk.

May 4th Diner

It isn’t a diner.
But it does serve food that can be very tasty.
And sometimes not so tasty
And sometimes the service is very good
And sometimes the waiters have their heads stuck up their asses they resemble popple dolls from the 80’s.
But more often than not it’s still pretty good.

JUSCO

Jusco is a large mall type complex on Hong Kong middle road at Fuzhou South Road.
It is owned by a Japanese corporation, and as such is filled with a cornucopia of Japanese products and restaurants.
In it, you will find some good Japanese restaurants all priced very reasonably.
Be warned however, Jusco also contains an outpost of the unholy army of Ronald McDonald, and a food court that is most certainly owned and operated by MSG companies.

Japanese restaurant across from DaNiang dumplings 2nd floor jusco

My new favorite place inside of Jusco.
Very good quality pork cutlets, and more food than you can handle for 25-40rmb.
Never too busy, so it sure as hell beats standing in line for Aijisen.

Aijisen(in jusco)

Ubiquitous Japanese noodle chain restaurant.
Very cheap.
Usually decent tasting but not amazing.
Usually pretty fast unless you order something unusual, like deep-fried squid infused with goose liver flown in from the Bermuda triangle.

Japanese place opposite McDo’s in Jusco (Sorry can’t remember name)

Interesting pancake/burger like things that I can’t really describe.
Cheap and will fill you up.
Very tasty potatoes.
Supposedly Osaka style according to my friend…who’s from Osaka.

Istanbul - Turkish in food court of IGO

Good Turkish food.
Very cheap.
You have to get one of those stupid payment cards to buy food there.
The location is so absurd for this type of place it’s sure to be bankrupt in a matter of months.
The chef is Turkish, but can only speak Turkish and German, no English, which makes me wonder how the hell he gets along in this country considering the only two languages spoken are Mandarin and English.

Chalon(in jusco)

Japanese western food, made by Chinese people.
Lots of meats that don’t cost an arm and a leg.
Very consistent quality and service.
Good fall back plan when nothing else suits.

Kalinka’s

Russian place behind mykal.
Food is decent. Although I can’t say I’m really into Russian food.
They used to (or may still have) 30rmb lunches that were very good and were like 4 courses.

Pasta Fresca Al Salvatore

Italian food.
Best pizza I’ve had in Qingdao so far, although that isn’t saying much, it was still up to Dominos level.
Prices were about the same as Napoli or LaVilla so think about 100-150 per person.
Didn’t try the Pasta, but I’ve heard it’s decent.
For some reason it always seems empty.

LaLuna

Italian/French type food.
Service was good, food was good.
Price was a bit cheaper than its sucky counterparts.
Might not be open anymore because the mob might have shut it down in a gangbanger shootout where the french owner was heard yelling “SACRE BLUE!” before transmuting into a frog and hopping to his safety???
update: definitely no more

Your Mom’s Place

I love home cooking.

I will also be adding and updating to this list as I remember and try out places, or when I get really bored.

* For those that don’t know the mei-you’s or 没有 is what the waitress says when they don’t have what you want. It literally means, “no-have”. Normally excusable, it can get uber-frustrating as often half the things on the menu will be mei-yous. I can deal with it at Chinese places because they all have like 300 items on their damned menu, but when it happens at a supposedly upscale western restaurant…heads roll.